A Sacred Healing and The Soul Connection

Edit June 2016: Five-ish years later and I am married to a woman who came to me by unusual circumstance, connects at all levels with me, and complements me like no other.  I started my journey around the time of my divorce looking for spiritual connection.  I ended up finding much, much, more.  I’ll write that story later.

I feel one of the lessons I have been taught has to do with the rift existing between the masculine and the feminine in our modern world. The story below is about experiencing the archetypal rift in a very physical world way.

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When she is in pain, hurt, threatened, angry or frightened I feel it in my solar plexus. The sensation is a very unpleasant burning. If I’m asleep I’ll wake up. If I’m awake my instincts will scream to find her if she’s in danger.

When she is feeling love, gratitude, appreciation or beauty I feel it in my upper chest as an expansion and stretching. If she’s consciously directing those feelings towards me the expansion takes my breath away. Distance is irrelevant. Six inches or 100 miles it’s all the same.

With time and experience I’m learning to allow those sensations to flow in both directions along the connection while going about my daily life.

The night she said she needed time I felt something so intense it woke me up around 2:30 AM. I had felt something earlier, like sadness until about 12:30 AM, before I, thankfully, fell asleep. Was it me or was it her? I don’t know.

Once awake I had to leave the place I was staying. I wandered in my car, lost, looking for a place to be, not having her to turn to in that moment. Home was gone for the time being. I ended up at a friend’s house because I somehow knew she could handle whatever it was that was about to happen. Her son, however, wasn’t impressed with my knock on the door at 3 AM.

After getting cleaned up and some water to drink, a healing ritual began. My energy channels opened. I began working very intensely offering to my partner, our relationship and the children in both our lives. From there the energies and grief ranged from the intensely personal to the archetypal and points in between.

And for the next two hours I was flooded with a pain that was not my own. Frozen in one spot before dawn, crying, mumbling and calling spirits and guides, I balanced as best I could the masculine and feminine energies swirling around and through me.

The pain between the two archetypes was intense. The understanding of what it meant to be losing the sacredness of the relationship between the masculine and feminine in our society was overwhelming. The loss I felt was both internal and external, personal and beyond myself. Inside and between individuals all at the same time.

My friend helped route energy as it became lodged inside me. Stuck in my own heart wounds.

I cry for all the children. Feeling the energy flow. I am now even as I write.

The ancestors came to help. Two Grandmothers, a Warrior and a Grandfather stood with us that morning. At one point during the healing, one of my spirit animal guides bled at the healing table for her.

The elders were still present as I fell asleep.

The Rest of the Story (edit:01/04/2012
We haven’t had any substantial communication in over ten months. My energy and subtle awareness skills are continuing to grow and develop. It is quite possible to control the energetic/profound links we are capable of opening between one another. Opening the connection is just half the lesson. Learning to manage it is the second part. Quiet Mind and open Heart are the keys.

Also, regardless of past life shared experiences, we are here in this life. We came to learn from and teach one another. Dealing with old karma carried from relationships in past lives is part of the journey. As we will, again, the next time around.

All these life experiences helped me get to the point where I have made the deep energetic connection with myself. Balancing Yin and Yang internally leaves me feeling whole for the life partner I haven’t met, yet. An energetic balance I perceived consciously Summer, 2011.

From the perspective of the eternal, why get too worked up about meeting a soul mate? You have and will, again. As far as, twin flames, who cares if you meet in this life or a thousand from now? There is only eternity and you are gathering experiences to share. Get on with it!