7 Reasons Not To Look For Your Soulmate

Edit June 2016: Found a soul mate, lost her, then found the One who I’ve gone deeper with than I ever expected.

Below is an article I published in 2006.  Ironically, I ended up finding my soulmate after I gave up looking.  In fact, I took it a step further, I gave up on the concept of soulmates all together.

7 Reasons Not To Look For Your Soulmate

Are you married to your soulmate? How do you know? Are you absolutely sure? Does it matter?

The basic definition used in this article is the one where two souls are connected for eternity. Incarnation after incarnation, returning to each other in the spirit world.

Where most people get messed up is when they take this idea a step further. Wanting to be with their soulmate, here, in this life.

My question is, “Why?”

You’re connected together, forever. Spiritually, anyway.  You’ve come here to learn something or other. It’s doubtful that the few short years you’re in this reality are all that big a deal for eternal souls to be “apart” from each other.

Here are 4 reasons I think people search for their soulmates:

Feeling Incomplete - Many people do not feel like they are complete and whole persons. Unable to live and thrive as an individual.

Insecurity - Incompleteness leads to insecurity. By seeking partners to complete themselves, soulmates, they set themselves up for being insecure about the relationship itself. Needing to protect it. Being jealous of the partner’s past, present and future in this life.

Fear - Insecurity will give rise to fear. Fear of loss of the partner or the relationship. When fear becomes present the incomplete, insecure person just ends up pushing their partner even more. Increasing the insecurity and fear.

Physical Reality - The world, when stripped of the thin veneer of civilization, can be cold and harsh. We feel that instinctively as a need for a tribe. Finding a soulmate in our modern life can substitute for a tribe.

And here are 3 reasons not to worry about finding your soulmate:

Eternity - Soulmates are connected forever and always. Why worry about a few short years on the physical plane?

Life Mission - Why did you incarnate? If it was to find your soulmate, you could have done that without the mess of the birth process.

Love - Love is given and experienced. Not something received and stored. You need to learn to love and accept yourself, first.

Which is tough to do when you’re feeling needy and insecure.

First you learn to love and accept yourself as a complete and integral being. Then you can truly love and connect with others. Maybe even your soulmate.

My guess is that your soulmate, of all beings, is going to understand.